No its not a mental disorder but it really is all in my head....I think. My personal view on triathletes is that we are "jack of all trades" individuals. We are good at all but master of none. If you put the best athlete of each individual discipline against the best in triathlon, chances are the triathlete would not come out on top. Put them all together and then the triathlete shines.
We all have our favorite/best area in the sport. My desire to swim is largely just to get to my bike. While I like swimming more now than ever, still so much to work on. The bike has become my love. I have so much fun when I get to hammer and just go. I still have so much to learn about cycling however. Descents tend to make my stomach knot...its the speed you see. I am sure in time that will change...or I hope it will. But what of the run?
I guess in a way I started out as a runner. I credit it as being a huge factor in my weight loss. I remember running my first continuous 5km...wow. I wanted to be able to run because I was never able to before. It also seemed to be a great example of endurance. I also remember the first time I ran a half marathon without stopping. But right now that is just a memory.
At this point I know I would have to stop/walk on a long run. I have really made big gains on the swim and bike. Maybe at a cost of a bit of the run. Here is where the Tripolar disorder comes into play. Trying to find time for 3 sports and not focusing on one. It does become a bit of a task to manage all three. The good part of having a coach is having someone to largely take care of that. But he one thing your coach can't do is make you like them all.
I am just not feeling the run love right now. I seem to go in cycles with this. Right now my running just seems so much harder than ever before. I did an 8km run yesterday and it felt horrible. I know that I am not even a week out from the Calgary 70.3 but I still didn't like the feeling. Running used to seem effortless.
But right now I can't tell if its some degree or running deconditioning or if its all in my head. Am I just giving up when I think I am having trouble or am I really not running well. I am having hard time selling myself that its deconditioning. I seem to be doing really well (for me) in the other areas.
So what am I going to do about it?!?!? Talked to my coach and we are going to add another run into my schedule. I am planning on doing some 10km/half marathon races in the fall/winter to work on some speed and to keep me racing while in the tri off season. And just a small more immediate thing....new playlist. Music usually is a good motivator for me. One of my new favorite songs is Debonaire by Dope. Definitely not a song for everyone but I like really like the sound.
Anyway...enough whining...I have a kick a@@ playlist to finish.
A new series of abstracts
12 hours ago