Thursday, March 25, 2010

tha tha that don't kill me..can only make me stronger

Cue the Kanye West (even though I think he is a douche bag). Kinda does say how I feel lately. Not that training is the problem, it's everything else right now. I didnt really think that having a child would be as much of a change and stress as it has been....well I did , but you know.

Money....I love my son more than life itself and would NEVER trade him for my "other" life. But every once in a while the stress creeps up on you. Money is definately an issue...I am not broke by any means but my expendible income is pretty darn low right now. The EI system is great on one hand, my wife gets to stay at home and raise our child for the first year. However the amount is somewhat a kick to the junk. Definately have to be more frugal and boy does it suck when those not so cheap and very sudden extra expenses pop up.

Time.....Not enough time in the day/week/month. Between work, training, housework and spending time with my family (note..these are not in order of importance) I feel like i dont have much time to myself to wind down. Training is probably the closest thing I have to downtime. It is definately my "ME" time. I struggle to fit everything in some days. I know that I am not the only person that experiences this.

Work....This has been weighing on my mind alot lately. I am not sure how much longer I want to stay in ICU. I do enjoy my 2 days, 2 nights then 5 off. But the frustrating part is getting time off. As of now I am scheduled to work both half IM's that I am signed up for and the weekend of IMC (which I need to be there to sign up for next year). Hopefully I will get my time off requests granted. But besides those issues, I am feeling more and more ethical/moral distress at work. I can't really elaborate because of confidentiality but it sucks. Just because we can do things doesnt mean we should. Not sure what will be the final straw but we shall see.

Family....I have a great wife and you know how I feel about my boy. I love just holding him and talking to him and watching him smile...and now laugh. I love it when I get to sit down with my wife and have a nice meal. I think we have our best talks on our worst days. I do hate the guilt I sometimes feel when I am out training. I probably shouldnt because they are perfectly fine with it. And I worry sometimes because I know whats ahead for the next year and a half or so. I will get through it though.

We all have stress and we all deal with it in our own way. Despite all of these items that cause stress they also are my biggest enjoyments. The trick it to find the right balance of them all. I will let you know the year that happens ;).

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Wahooo free time!

Not really sure what free time is anymore. My wife and son are gone for a few days to visit her family and I am home alone! Truth is I miss them alot, lol. But while they are gone I am taking advantage of and relaxing.

Training was a bit off for a couple of days...I had a bit of an infection in one of my toes. Putting on my shoe was painful to say the least. Luckily after a couple of days the toe is just mildly inflamed at this point. Despite the toe issue, my training days yesterday and today have been really good.

Yesterday started off meeting Greg at the pool for some swim coaching. Its been a while since we had made it too the pool. I was anxious to get some feedback since I have been working pretty hard at it lately. After some observation it was good to hear that my progress is noticeable. My stroke was not perfect, still room for improvement and that's what we worked on. After some corrections I noticed a huge difference...where the hell did that glide come from, lol. I can feel it in my shoulders today but its the soreness that is welcomed.

After the swim it was off time indoor cycling that night. I am feeling really good about my cycling too. I can't wait to get outside this year. My legs feel much stronger than at this time last year. I am always curious at to what surprises Greg has in store for us!

Today was a long run that was to be all about the form and low heart rate. I started in Edworthy park and headed east along the north side of the bow until I hit Crowchild and then went over to the southside. I love running along the pathway when its sunny out. I kept a nice slower than race pace the whole time. Not a huge amount of people on the paths so it was nice. I had crossed the Center street bridge and stopped for a drink and gel. It was nice to walk for a minute and just relax.

It was just as nice on the way back. A nice easy run, listening to tunes and not pushing things. I love my tempo runs but this was a nice change. I think my form held up pretty good. I made sure I kept it going. In the end it was 15.5km in 1:35. I think my next long run I will do the Glenmore reservoir. I will be running the police half so I want to get a bit more elevation change in my runs.

The family comes back tomorrow and so will my "bachelor" time, lol. I have another swim and cycling day on the schedule and I am looking forward to it. But I have to admit that I am looking forward to seeing my wife and son more, lol. I am finding a better balance of everything as of late. I think now its time to play some Xbox and get some of that relaxation in.