Cue the Kanye West (even though I think he is a douche bag). Kinda does say how I feel lately. Not that training is the problem, it's everything else right now. I didnt really think that having a child would be as much of a change and stress as it has been....well I did , but you know.
Money....I love my son more than life itself and would NEVER trade him for my "other" life. But every once in a while the stress creeps up on you. Money is definately an issue...I am not broke by any means but my expendible income is pretty darn low right now. The EI system is great on one hand, my wife gets to stay at home and raise our child for the first year. However the amount is somewhat a kick to the junk. Definately have to be more frugal and boy does it suck when those not so cheap and very sudden extra expenses pop up.
Time.....Not enough time in the day/week/month. Between work, training, housework and spending time with my family (note..these are not in order of importance) I feel like i dont have much time to myself to wind down. Training is probably the closest thing I have to downtime. It is definately my "ME" time. I struggle to fit everything in some days. I know that I am not the only person that experiences this.
Work....This has been weighing on my mind alot lately. I am not sure how much longer I want to stay in ICU. I do enjoy my schedule...work 2 days, 2 nights then 5 off. But the frustrating part is getting time off. As of now I am scheduled to work both half IM's that I am signed up for and the weekend of IMC (which I need to be there to sign up for next year). Hopefully I will get my time off requests granted. But besides those issues, I am feeling more and more ethical/moral distress at work. I can't really elaborate because of confidentiality but it sucks. Just because we can do things doesnt mean we should. Not sure what will be the final straw but we shall see.
Family....I have a great wife and you know how I feel about my boy. I love just holding him and talking to him and watching him smile...and now laugh. I love it when I get to sit down with my wife and have a nice meal. I think we have our best talks on our worst days. I do hate the guilt I sometimes feel when I am out training. I probably shouldnt because they are perfectly fine with it. And I worry sometimes because I know whats ahead for the next year and a half or so. I will get through it though.
We all have stress and we all deal with it in our own way. Despite all of these items that cause stress they also are my biggest enjoyments. The trick it to find the right balance of them all. I will let you know the year that happens ;).
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